Q. In one of your talks, as an example of containing emotions, you give the example of holding back from shouting at your house-mate who has just used up all your milk, and instead, experiencing the strong emotions fully in the body. Is it not possible in such a situation to skilfully discuss the problem with your friend – perhaps later when the anger has gone? I have found this approach productive in my own experience, so long as it is done with kindness. Surely there is more to right-speech than silence.

A. I was referring to how to deal with the experience at the time, how we can send that habit of losing your temper into change through containing. You are absolutely correct to say come back to the experience with your friend and discuss the issue when the emotion has subsided. This way we are in a more rational, balanced human state, and it is from here we can skilfully deal with the situation.