A. I find your question somewhat confusing but I will do my best to comment. First of all, I’m not sure what you mean by ‘consciousness’. Let’s assume you mean that which Buddhists refer to as Buddha-nature or Original-nature. Yes, I have said that Buddha-nature isn’t interested in how you want practice to be, that you want to have it on your terms, or at your convenience. Our True-nature will respond when we learn to practise correctly, having the humility to surrender ourselves throughout all our everyday experiences of life, not picking and choosing the ones to open up to. It is possible to cultivate communion between yourself and Buddha-nature, but never imagine Buddha-nature to be ‘out there’. It is your True Being and is within you. Yes, you can fool yourself, thinking you are communicating with Buddha-nature when in fact it is your deluded mind playing games. Communion can only take place over time, through cultivating wholehearted practice. Practice where you are prepared to engage yourself full time in all situations and learn through humility to give yourself up. Give yourself up to what? Give yourself up to your True-nature, that which is within all of us. If you call upon help only when it suits you, and consider it something of a convenience that will get you out of trouble, then this is an example of your delusion. There is a price to pay for the wholehearted relationship, and this is the surrendering of the self. If you want this relationship at your convenience, then it will never happen, you will be forever drawn into the deluded self’s desire to have things on its terms. Your True-nature loves you as it loves all beings, and indeed all of life. It ‘aches’ to reach out and help because it cannot be any other way. It sees you not as something separate but as itself, as nothing is separate, but at one with Buddha-nature. There are not many Buddha-natures; this only appears to be so because of our inability to grasp the all-embracing reality of one Buddha-nature – the great eternal mystery that is never touched by time and space, that is the wisdom that is not separate from love. And because it cannot be known or grasped, our response can only be to bow our heads with humility.