Q. In your book and on retreats you talk of learning to open up to and accept painful negative emotions in a non-judgmental way as they arise during the day as being crucial to transformation in Dharma practice. In this way, you talk of these emotions gradually softening and burning out and of us gradually returning to the natural warmth of the heart, and ultimately our true nature. You also talk of simply containing these emotions and not meddling with or manipulating them when they arise. At the moment, when I meditate, I am experiencing a lot of frustration in the hara and abdominal area, which is sometimes quite painful, to be honest. In working with this, I’m not sure whether to get ‘more intimate’ with this frustration, which sometimes seems to lead to greater ‘wrestling’ with the frustration, or to detach and observe a little ‘back’ from the emotion and simply allow it to be with a ‘sky-like’ attitude -maybe this latter approach is not so effective as it is more dualistic (I am not fully at one with the painful emotion, and therefore less releasing of the emotion can take place). Is there a balance that the practitioner mustfind for themselves?

A. Yes, a balance is very important, especially if the experience in the hara is particularly strong. I would say that if you don’t retain your attention on the hara you run the risk of the energy running away with you, possibly causing trouble. On the other hand, forcing yourself to stay there may not be skillful either. A middle way is always best. Be aware and return to retain familiarity with what you are doing, but also live your life in a normal dualistic way, as you describe it. This way you allow the life-force to naturally feed itself into what you are doing and do its job of keeping you alive in a balanced and healthy way. After all, that is what we are trying to accomplish. The time that you can be most intimate with the energy is during sitting (?) meditation. Learn to take your awareness there and, if you have a subject-meditation, cultivate it from that position. If your meditation is a formless one, then use this experience to centre and ground yourself and from there allow your awareness to ‘fill-out’ and become brighter.