Q. Can the group suggest a Dharmic way to survive living with being the object of another person’s obsessive and destructive focus on a continual basis? In particular, can the forum point to a way to cope with fear which will not overcome me but which does not bottle up the emotion? They say everything springs from fear. How can one keep one’s heart warm and open and appreciate all the blessings one has in life while acknowledging the fear within? What would the Buddha do?

A. From my understanding, the only true way of dealing with difficult emotional situations is to work with them through a committed practice. There are no fixes for particular situations in Buddhism, as you may get in therapy. We have to learn to cultivate a practice that we take to all situations without regarding one situation as more important than another. If a particular situation is proving very difficult, indeed overpowering, to the extent that it takes you away from any sort of practice that your teacher could help you with, then seek advice from an expert on the subject (outside of Buddhism). We cannot pick and choose and ‘tailor’ our Dharma practice to suit our wants and needs. Through patience, perseverance, a wholehearted and complete practice, we learn how to work with life’s fears and with difficult emotions. We discover that many of life’s difficulties can be solved.